My trip is coming to an end. Have I found my destination? I can't answer yet.
All I know is I must be back soon. The red circle in my pocket calendar is only an inch away.
I see her.
Blonde hair, blue eyes, shorter than average physique.
Each breath she takes seems to be short. Partly because of her overly large bags that droop over her tiny body. But more so because I sense a frustration that she cannot fully express out of her system.
A man stops by.
I'm too far away to make sense of his words. I try to follow the way his lips move. I try to carve out the words from his mouth.
I can only manage to hear the last fragment of his sentence:
"You sound like a feminist" he says.
Initially speechless, she comes to a simple answer:
"I am"
If a woman walks out in the wild on her own is this an act of defiance of social norms, a protest against masculinity? Must a petite lady like her always have a man with broad shoulders by her side? Is it odd that she is in the woods when she is not on a honeymoon or a sorority retreat?
And I hide.
I hide because I am afraid he will ask the same question to me.
Because am I a feminist?
Most likely.
But is my journey an act of independence – a demonstrated liberation of embracing my femininity?
Debatable.
Because I don't know.
I've been on this path in search for an answer. Who am I? Where do I belong? How much of what I see is "real"? How much of the world I see is in my head?
I have no answer for any of these questions yet.
In fact, the further I continue on my journey, the deeper I delve into myself, I am even more lost for an answer. I have more questions. More questions on each step of the way.
The man sees me from a far.
"M'am"
I turn around.
I walk.
I'm lost. I have no answer.
I walk.
Feminist, what a dirty word. I remember one of my classes when I was a youngin. I had a really progressive teacher for the time, and she asked me in front of everyone if I was a feminist. I paused. I stuttered. I, like you, was stuck. My teacher then told the class, look at what society has done to the term feminist. The strongest feminist in this class can't even say so. She is so scared to proclaim what she is because feminist is ugly and loaded. But feminist merely means that you believe women are equal to men and should get the same treatment in society. This moment was eye opening for me.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you can reflect on this experience and realise that being a feminist is not complicated nor scary. We should all be feminists, and we should all be proud to proclaim we want equality.